Love and Judgment cannot enjoy the same bed

Sex is one of the most important parts of our lives and yet, so often, we do not experience our sexual potential. Here we begin to look at our sexuality and how you can have a more satisfying love life.

Every woman has the potential to orgasm and in fact are biologically built to orgasm regularly.

Do you expect your man to be an expert? Most likely he is as nervous and unsure as you are. Then when he doesn't please you just right, you get an attitude toward him which causes him pain. With a loving, caring partner, a conductive atmosphere and the right techniques, there is no reason why women can't achieve sexual fulfillment every time they have intercourse. Of course, no two people are the same and different women are aroused in different ways. The best orgasms arise from a variety of techniques, intercourse providing orgasm for only about one in five. Achieving orgasm isn't only about good techniques, it is about intimacy and trust as well as what is going on in her mind. Orgasm arises from the unification of body, mind and spirit. Women do not always have to orgasm every time they have sex. Sex can be enjoyable even when providing themselves as a loving accepting vessel for her partners emotional release. This is where he ejaculates without orgasm and most likely will simply feel tired afterward.

Many men are developing their skills in trust and allowing more intimacy in their lives. It is the case of many men that what they take as orgasm is simply ejaculation and many live their whole lives without the orgasmic experience.

What is required for a woman is also required by men. Men need to be heard without judgement, with acceptance and trust.

Men also have the potential to have prolonged and repeated orgasm's with the right conditions and practice such as learning to withhold ejaculation.

Men when being the dominant lover need to develop control in such a way that he directs his energy to meet and lead the energy of the woman. (like a dance)

Men also need a loving touch and to feel the feminine desire in order to arouse the inner man beyond simply getting an erection and being able to perform. Such empty performance although providing emotional release and some satisfaction for the woman leaves an man with nothing other than a need for sleep, or to remove himself physically or energetically from the situation. This of course leaves the woman feeling left out, missing the intimacy

Still reading? Does this mean that you are not getting what you want? Please continue and remember that if you want help then there is assistance.

The following are some simple steps that can help both men and women in order to achieve intimacy orgasm.

Prepare your mind and body for sex

Switch off from your mundane world: Put on some nice relaxing / sensual music and Shower or bathe, perhaps with some lovely fragrance, (incense or essential oil). Choose a quiet comfortable place and perhaps do some yoga or Tai Chi and then lie down to prepare for deep relaxation.

Identify any tension in your body: Tense these areas of your body as you breathe in, such as the neck, back or legs, quite hard for a count of three, then let go as you breathe out. Then systematically work around your whole body, tensing and relaxing.

Breathe deeply: While tensing, breathe slowly and steadily in through your nose and out through your mouth to maximize relaxation. Sigh tension away

Total relaxation: Once you have tensed and relaxed every muscle in your body, examine yourself for remaining tension. If you find any, simply breathe into and tense these areas until you feel stress-free.

Slow movements: Take your time when you have finished relaxing. Don't sit bolt upright immediately but, instead, savour the stillness of your limbs. Roll over onto your front and push yourself up backwards and slowly. This prevents the blood rushing to your head, making you feel faint.

Savour the moment: Once standing, raise your arms slowly above your head and stretch as you breathe deeply. Feel your body alive, the energy surging within you.

BECOME INTIMATE: Take time out from the daily world. Make sure you have complete privacy. Take the phone off the hook, don't answer the door and make sure the children won't disturb you.

You must really like your body and feel comfortable with your sexuality, so you will project a relaxed and confident image. Pay particular attention to your appearance - sensuous clothing can be helpful. It is also vital to create the right mood. Prepare yourselves by having a bath together and then give your room a seductive scent using incense or essential oils. Soften the light - candles are much more romantic and flattering than electric light.

At all stages, be aware of body language. Be open. Look longer than usual into his or her eyes, move closer, smile more and make small touching movements which display warmth and affection, How much can you really feel?

Free your sexual energy: The brain is like a radio transmitter which sends and receives signals. As a result, the mind's response is just as important as the physical reactions in the build-up to orgasm.

Try to create positive feelings by using encouragement and compliments. Tell him how much you want him; tell her how breath-taking she looks as she undresses. These good feelings will go buzzing to the brain and send sensations to the body.

Encourage mental eroticism by describing fantasies to each other Then perhaps share a sensual massage, using essential oils as a way of further encouraging intimacy.

BUILD UP EACH OTHERS SELF-CONFIDENCE WITH POSITIVE STATEMENTS ABOUT HOW YOU APPRECIATE EACH OTHER

Learn about your partner's erogenous zones. During the massage, use stroking movements starting on his / her back and progressing to the rest of the body

Ask about the various effects to discover what she / he likes and dislikes. Try to remember that everyone reacts differently.

Encourage your partner to tell you what he / she wants; don't assume that what you're doing is right. You should both be comfortable enough with each other to say what does and doesn't feel good.

If she / he is not reacting, take a step back and try a different approach. As you both start to feel aroused, don't fight it. Let the sensations flow.

Use erotic touches such as brushing each other's hair, nestling close together, massaging the scalp or fondling the feet, which are full of nerve endings and one of the body's major erogenous zones.

These are all ways of building up self-confidence.

STIMULATION: The key to achieving a powerful orgasm is stimulating the heart of her / his sexuality. But it is important to work up to this and not to rush. During the sensual massage, use touch to pleasure the whole body working down to the genitals.

Using the fingertips spend some time stroking the outside of the thighs then gently move to the inner thighs.

With a light touch move sensitively from the inner thighs upwards, creating a sense of build-up.

Experiment and see what works for your partner. But as a general guide, a firm touch is reassuring and a gentle touch will create more of a tingling sensation. It does no harm to ask whether you're doing the right thing.

At this stage, you may want to try oral sex to help your partner build towards her orgasm. Experiment to see where the most sensitive points are.

CLIMAX: Only 3Opc of women manage to reach orgasm through intercourse alone, but 82 p/c of women can achieve it purely by using foreplay.

It doesn't matter which method your partner uses to bring you to climax, but a combination of intercourse and manual stimulation can lead to the most fulfilling climax. The scissors position - when a man is on top but with one leg outside hers and one leg between hers - allows him to shift his weight and give easier access for manual stimulation during lovemaking.

A woman's orgasm works differently to a man's. Once a man gets to the final stages he doesn't need continual stimulation as he will reach a climax anyway, but with a woman you usually need to continue stimulation or she may not reach orgasm.

Some women are capable of having a climax for a long time, so if your partner is having multiple orgasms, carry on if she indicates that it feels good.

Don't worry if you don't make it every time. Here are five things to help make sex better.

1. Never feel guilty about enjoying sex. We have moved beyond the Victorian Ethic that says that if you enjoy sex you must be bad! Sex is meant to be enjoyed.
2. For many women, foreplay as well as intercourse is necessary to achieve orgasm.
3. Practice. Your body responds to different types of stimulation. Touch yourself in a variety of ways on different parts of the body to find out what works best for you.
4. Get yourself into a sexy mood. Read an erotic book, listen to sensual music... anything to get you in the right frame of mind.
5. Don't become obsessed. If you worry constantly about whether you'll have an orgasm, you'll just become stressed. Instead, focus on the experience and it will happen naturally

DID YOU KNOW? Satisfying sex deepens intimacy, makes the skin glow, improves overall body tone, promotes cardiovascular function, can cure menstrual cramps and leaves us more relaxed.

Sexual arousal often increases more slowly in women than men, and it can take between 20 to 25 minutes to reach the stage of arousal where the desire for penetration develops. The more varied and stimulating the foreplay including loving conversation, the quicker her desire rises.

Once actual lovemaking begins, if direct stimulation (of the clitoris) is maintained simultaneously, a women can often proceed quickly to the point of orgasm. With a variety of touch and techniques she may have multiple orgasms.Sexual tension culminates in orgasm, after which excitement relaxes into intimacy. If the conclusion is not intimacy, it often leaves a feeling of aloneness that can strain an ongoing relationship.

For most men arousal increases quickly with little foreplay, however given more foreplay than obviously necessary, he is likely to settle into a phase of arousal where he can remain for any length of time, according to his desire to enjoy and please his partner. Most men can easily remain aroused from ten to thirty minutes.

After penetration, a man can maintain an erection and pleasure his partner for as long as he likes depending on his experience. This also largely depends on the receptivity of his partner and the nature of the relationship. Nervousness is often the cause of premature ejaculation, (this is seldom orgasm). Other causes of PE are a lack of real intimacy, anxiety, feelings of expectation and judgement.

There is a point where pleasure increases markedly, bringing him, to a point of no return, and an intensely pleasurable moment with orgasm, and remember that just because he has cum, it doesn't mean that he has orgasmed.

What is an Orgasm?

It is the coming together of the energies of the participants in a way that leaves both exhausted and in communion with each other. These energies are our mental / emotional and Bio-electric energies. Orgasm also happens on an individual level with masturbation. This is the balancing and uplifting of the male / female aspects of one's being.

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